Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Giving Thanks

Something that I find really beautiful about this time of year is that everything slows down a little bit. It's cold, and that drive to hibernate keeps us indoors and close to home. It always turns my thoughts inwards, and makes me reflect on what I have in my life.
Sometimes, that's a bit painful. I don't have a lot of family in my life; some of the people that I loved have passed, and others are estranged (for good reasons that I won't go into right now), and since I moved to Chicago, I've spent more than a few Thanksgivings alone, or working. Last year I went to Dublin over the holiday, partly to avoid the whole situation. I bought my ticket before I started dating my boyfriend, and while I had a wonderful time there, on Thanksgiving I found myself sitting on a bridge, looking out over the Liffey, eating a turkey sandwich and wishing I had someone to share the moment with.
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I mean, just look at that. I wanna go baaaaaaack.
I think a lot of people battle with loneliness this time of year. Ads and movies and tv shows and songs are all about the joy of gathering with your friends and family, talking and laughing and bickering and sharing meals. There's something very primal, very human about it. For most of human history, this was the time of year where we didn't just choose to come together, we were forced to do so to survive in the face of the harsh weather and scarce food. Feast days, like Thanksgiving and Christmas, were much needed breaks from fast days, which were necessary to preserve food stores. For most people, food scarcity isn't something that we worry about anymore, but the urges that come with the onset of winter remain.
This year, I feel like I'm in a really good place. It's almost startling how happy life is making me right now.
One of the things that I'm truly grateful for this year is my boyfriend, Brian.
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The filter I used here is called "Lucky." Seemed appropriate.
We've moved pretty fast with our relationship - we just started dating a little over a year ago, and already we've moved in and are talking about a long future together. I'm really happy to have someone in my life who supports and understands me; who can have a talk about issues (personal or social) and take my opinion seriously, but who is also really joyful, and will dance around the house with me; who loves me; who isn't perfect but is awesome.
Even though I complain about it all the time, I'm also really grateful for my job.
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The totally awesome view from my break room at work.
For the first time in my life, I have a pretty stable income. I may not have a lot of money, but I have enough money. I don't have panic attacks over bills anymore when something unexpected comes up. I even have decent benefits! A regular schedule, plenty of time off, a relatively low stress environment. Sometimes, when I really stop and think about it, I can't believe how lucky I am to have stumbled into it. I also just applied for a promotion, and I think I have a really good chance of getting it.
My friends are another bright point in my life. There are a couple of people in particular that I love, and am so happy to have in my life. I don't see them often enough, but I'm determined to fix that as soon as possible.
Is it silly that I'm thankful for my wardrobe? Probably, but I am.

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It will never stop evolving, but I feel like, for the first time in my life, it really reflects who I am, or the least who I want people to see. For a really long time, the only thing it showed was what was on sale at Kmart, so it feels good to have control over it.
I'm grateful for my city, for my safety, for my neighbor's dog, for my coworkers, for the books that I read, for my health, for my youth, for red lipstick, for good tv, for whiskey, for sales (sorry, had to shill a little bit), for this blog and all of the kind people who read it, and sometimes even comment.
That's kind of all encompassing, isn't it? But really, for all my little complaints and issues and annoyances, I have a good life, and it feels good sometimes to stop and remember that.
What are you thankful for? Even if you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, feel free to comment.

No post tomorrow (I will be far too busy stuffing my face, drinking too much, and napping), but keep an eye out Friday. I'm going to be trolling Etsy and posting about even more sales, so if, like me, you're participating in Chronically Vintage's Secret Santa, now might be a great time to find the perfect gift.

8 comments:

  1. That's a lot of things to be thankful for. When you stop and think about what you have, it can be very heartwarming, and I know I should do it more often. I'm thankful for an adorable baby with bright alert eyes, my precious cats (one of whom is sleeping in a large parcel envelope on the couch next to me), a husband who changes nappies in the middle of the night, a house that I own and have finally been able to do some work on, so that it is looking like a lovely little home, some family that I love immensely (even if they are on the other side of the world), the internet, hats, tv, sugar snap peas from my garden, Christmas, snuggly blankets, making risotto for myself when my husband isn't home (he doesn't like it), honey roasted cashews, circle skirts, Georgette Heyer, and many many more things!

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    1. This is so awesome, thank you for posting it! A hubby who does diaper duty without making a production about it - that's definitely something to be thankful for. And now I'm hungry for cashews. :)

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  2. I loved reading this post. Im sorry your holidays in the past have been lonely but its great to see you have so much going for you now and especially that you recognize it. You clearly have people in your life that love you. I also have to say its nice to see someone who as silly as this seems has similar relationship history as me. I think people were surprised when my boyfriend and I moved in together after 9 months of dating. By some standards its fast but I say when something works it works. Also while it may have been not the most ideal situation to spend Thanksgiving alone in Dublin, Id be grateful for having the opportunity to travel! I must add Im also thankful for my closet :)
    Justine
    http://theredlipchronicles.blogspot.com

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    1. I think most people do feel like there's a certain timeline that you should follow, but you're right - if it works, it works. It's not about rules and deadlines, it's about what feels right.
      And I am really thankful for the opportunities that I've had to travel. Growing up, that I was something that I've really dreamed about, and I've been lucky to be able to take a trip or two every year for the past few years. I'd love to broaden my horizons a little bit, though, and see some of Asia and South America.

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  3. Beautiful, reflective post. It's so important to stop and take stock of the good in our life. Sometimes the daily minutia and grind can wear us down and make the waters of life murky, but if we step back, there's usually an abundance of positive things ("blessings" some might call them) to be had even in less-than-ideal times. Life will never be perfect and that's okay. I figure if some things are better (or well on the way to being) in your world right now over where they were last year and/or you feel better/happier/less stressed/healthier/etc you're on the right path for sure.

    With all my heart I wish you and BF a wonderful Thanksgiving and start of the holiday season,
    ♥ Jessica

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    1. Thank you so much, my dear! I know I'm late in responding, but I hope you have a wonderful holiday season as well. I definitely feel like I'm on a good path in life, thank you for pointing that out.

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  4. Happy Thnksgiving to you! These are really nice photos, especially the first one is very cool!

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    1. Thank you! I love the reflection in the water, it's like a mirror at night.

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