I wouldn't really describe myself as shy, exactly. In most situations I can deal with people just fine. Every job that I've ever had has been customer service related, so time and practice have made it much easier for me to interact with people in a professional sort of framework. I'm also ok having one on one conversations, or conversations in small groups of people. Stick me in a room with 10 or 20 other people, though, and all I want to do is either hide in a corner with a book, or, better yet, leave. A significant amount of alcohol can help me get over that, but I don't really like to drink that much anymore, so I usually end up just going with my impulses.
It helps to have my boyfriend around to figuratively (and sometimes literally) hold my hand, bringing me into conversations and helping me feel included, without necessarily forcing me into heavy duty interaction with other people. While it's nice having that support, sometimes it also makes me feel guilty, like I'm keeping him from having fun by being too clingy or needy. He assures me that that's not the case, but it doesn't always keep me from thinking it.
I'm not happy about missing out on so many social activities this weekend, but there were still things that happened that I enjoyed. It was in the 70s for most of the weekend, so I spent a lot of time outdoors, walking around, reading, and checking out the autumn foliage.
Even though I missed the show on Friday, I got to take some nice outfit shots, and then I spent the evening with Brian, listening to records and playing Bioshock.
I also went shopping, and while I don't have any photos of the amazing vintage coat that I got for only $16 (it needs buttons and a cleaning), I do have a photo of the honking big nose ring that I really like, and am not sure I'll ever wear in real life.
I'm still going to enjoy my solitary pleasures a lot of the time, but I am going to make a little bit more of an effort to say yes to more social activities. I just need to get out of my bubble. Sometimes I forget that things like that can be fun, and this weekend felt like a wake up call for all the stuff that I'm missing out on.
So, what about you guys? Are you a social butterfly, or are you more likely to want to stay at home curled up with a good book? If you're more introverted, like me, how do you balance taking care of yourself with enjoying social activities with friends?
I'm exactly like you - Id rather escape than engage with large social gatherings, and I rely on my boyfriend to involve me the times I do venture out into big groups. I'm the biggest introvert I know and what you described as doing instead is much more up my street! But I am also shy, which is something I've had to fight to progress in my career. Or I wouldn't have one! I think a lot of introverts end up as bloggers... It's a much more comfortable form of communication for most of us. I do wish society was more accepting of introversion though - don't know about you, but I feel constantly judged!
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of people do understand it a bit better now than they used to, but there's still a tendancy to wonder what's wrong with someone when they're too quiet or shy. Blogging has definitely been a boon to me, though. It's a great way to be able to express yourself without feeling so self conscious.
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ReplyDeleteThese nose rings bring on a sense of fun. Your ring brought smile to my face so I hope you don't mind my comment about smiles with your ring because I know some people can be quite serious about them. Now I've just floated back to the early 90s and thought about Joan Osborne and how she had a side nose ring and I vaguely remember she might have also attached a chain from her nose ring to her earring. But, I digress:) I think it depends upon the social situation and where you are in life. I think I am more introverted than I was 10 years ago but I do like to be in the right social settings. As a side note, the paisley dress looks great on you. Light greens are certainly a good color for you.
ReplyDeleteOf course not! Honestly, it is such a silly thing, and that big one might be a bit, um, much for me.
DeleteThis dress is beautiful on you!
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad about not being overly social. It took me a long time to be able to function in huge groups of people and I'm still not very good at it. It's okay to not like them and it's even better to be aware of your strengths and sometimes, one-on-one hangs are still just the absolute best. For me, when it comes to music, I end up feeling like the only person in the room and it's a magical kind of large scale aloneness. But that's probably just my love of music. I saw Chrves on Saturday in Northern IL and I hated it So, def don't be that upset because they are very bass-y and weird live. Basically, what I'm saying is do not feel badly about who you are. Embrace your quirks and play up your strengths and remember that being comfortable in your own skin is ultimately matters.
I do love going to concerts for bands that I really like. It's such an amazing experience, because you're part of a crowd, but it feels like the band is just holding your soul in the palm of their hand. It's been a while since I've been to a show like that, but it's why I used to love going to concerts when I was a little younger. I'm disappointed to hear that Chrvches wasn't up to snuff, I really like their album.
DeleteI'm on the shy end of the spectrum too. Luckily my husband is too, so we are mostly happy to veg out together at home. My close group of friends are more than an hour away, and I wish we caught up more often, but other than that I don't feel too bad about not "doing stuff". I found, as you might also feel, that when working a very people-filled job I couldn't handle much more in the evenings, and needed quiet and solitary time to balance it out.
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend is not a shy guy at all, but he's great about supporting me in social situations, and he's usually pretty happy to have a mellow time with me at home. And I think you're right that having to be so social during the day kind of burns me out - I'm much more likely to want to hang out with friends on the weekends than on after having to talk to people all day at work.
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