A pertinent image from an article on TheGloss.com
I'm the woman who never leaves the house without makeup. I guess you could say that I'm not entirely at peace with my looks, even now, but I was deeply uncomfortable with them growing up. I could look in the mirror and see a girl that I thought was cute, but no one else seemed to agree. I didn't date, and I didn't have a lot of friends, and in the way of teenagers everywhere, I thought it was mostly because of my appearance.
My mom didn't wear makeup, so it wasn't like I had anyone to learn from. It wasn't until college, when I could go into a department store and have them show me the ropes, that I started to figure it all out. I looked pretty ridiculous for a while - I would wear mascara, but not fill in my blonde brows; blush was either in poorly blended circles on the apples of my cheeks, or streaked up to my hairline. I had a penchant for very glossy red lips, which I'm sure went very well with the rest of the mess going on on my face.
These days I've got things down pretty much to a science. There are about 10 products that I wear almost every day, and getting them on, start to finish, takes about 30 minutes. It's a significant chunk of my morning, and sometimes I think it would be nice to skip it and sleep in, but even if I was running behind I'd find a way to do some of it.
Slightly different makeup, drastically different results. At least to me, but I'm way more aware of changes in my face than anyone else is going to be.
Reading those articles made me question the way that I think about wearing makeup. While I have never really thought of makeup as armor, which is how I've heard some people describe it, it is me choosing how I want to present myself to the world. People look at my face all day long, and I don't think I could deal with that if I wasn't wearing concealer, or mascara, or didn't have my brows filled. I am, literally, covering up things that make me feel vulnerable, which I guess is the textbook definition of armor. I wouldn't refuse to leave the house without it on, but my bare face just don't feel like my face.
Most of my normal makeup, but no eyebrows. I feel like I lose a lot of my expression by not having visible brows.
Practically speaking, the ladies who wrote these articles have hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes that are all the same color, which I don't. Am I just being pragmatic in "fixing" that, or am I giving in to something? Really, if I'm not some hideous troll beast with makeup on, why do I tend to feel like I would be so unattractive without it? And why is being attractive so important to me in the first place? Am I really just doing this for myself, or is my effort directed outward? There are a lot of questions that I really don't have the answers to, even though they're about my own feelings.
On the other hand, I like wearing makeup. I put it on even on days when I don't leave the house. However questionable the reasons are that it makes me feel good, comfortable, and confident in myself, the fact that it does all those things for me is something that I can only regard as good. It may not be the most empowering thing to redraw your face, emphasizing some features and playing down others in order to better conform to some ideal of beauty, but I do find it kind of empowering that we have that ability.
Blue lips aren't really what I'd call man bait, unless the man in question is a necrophiliac.
The articles themselves are pretty great, but I did find the end graphics a little glib and trite. Sometimes, makeup does make you a little more beautiful, at least in the sense that things like smooth skin and large eyes and plump lips are considered beautiful. While confidence is a feeling and does have to come from an actual person, wearing makeup so that you don't have to feel bad or worried about some perceived flaw can certainly give your confidence levels a little boost.
I'm completely in your camp - I wear makeup every day, even if I'm not leaving the house. The only time I ever not wore it was before I went to the gym in the mornings, and it was almost to test myself to see if I could! Turns out I don't care what I look like when I'm red and sweaty anyway, so I could. And now I don't go to the gym anymore, it's everyday again. I've been wearing makeup since age about 11, but unlike you my mum is a heavy user herself, and I've never seen her EVER not wear makeup past approximately 9am. Not even on days she's ill. So I guess you can see where my habits came from... I enjoy the fact I can improve my face though - I know I look better with it, I know I feel better with it... My boyfriend and I joke that if he could get away with it he'd wear even more then I do - I think it's great that as women we have that choice.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear I'm not the only one! And that's funny that your boyfriend wishes he could wear it. I feel kind of bad for guys that it's not socially accepted for them to do so. They'd look so good with a little bit of concealer and mascara.
DeleteYou've got a great set of brows. I find that even just filling in eyebrows makes a world of difference.
ReplyDeleteIt does make a massive difference. It's funny how having them makes your face so much more expressive.
DeleteIf you like makeup, you should wear it. If you don't, you shouldn't. Regardless of what other people think of it. I wear it every day for work, but not at weekends. I've just been on holiday abroad for a week, and on my first day back at work I realised I'd missed all my perfumes and jewellery, and loved selecting those again, but putting my makeup on felt like a horrendous faff. I did wonder whether it actually improved my face to others, or just made it look like I was trying... Now I'm wondering if I should bother!
ReplyDeleteThat's so funny that going without it for a while made you less interested in wearing it again. It's been so long since I've gone without that I've never really thought about even doing that. Maybe I should give it a try.
DeleteI'm a special-occasion make-up person, because I tend to feel more strange with it, because I'm not used to seeing my face that way. When I do wear make-up, it tends to be pretty natural, for the same reason. Generally I am motivated to wear make-up for one of three reasons, 1. There is something wrong with my face today (my skin is bad, I have a pimple) and I can't handle it; 2. I'm going somewhere where photos will be taken of me; 3. I'm dressing up and I want to have fun with make-up too.
ReplyDeleteI think if you have fun with it then do it! Your make-up always looks either natural or fun so I think that's cool.
How you're used to seeing yourself definitely has an effect on how you think about makeup. There's always a little bit of a curve when you're trying out something new - I know wearing a bold lip or a different style of eyeliner looks really strange if I haven't done it for a while. It sounds like you have a good handle on how you view makeup.
Delete"I'm the woman who never leaves the house without makeup. I guess you could say that I'm not entirely at peace with my looks, even now, but I was deeply uncomfortable with them growing up. I could look in the mirror and see a girl that I thought was cute, but no one else seemed to agree." These words could have come straight out my lips (or from my fingertips) as well. In fact, even just reading them sent a wee shiver up my spine.
ReplyDeleteI love make-up and don't pretend otherwise for a second, but I don't feel like I use it as a facade to help me better face the world at this point per se. I just love that it adds so much to my vintage styles, makes me look more my age (I sort of look like a 14 year old boy, IMO, without it), and does, objectively, make me more visually appealing to most people. Not that I honestly put a lot of stock in that, especially since I'm not in the dating world these days, but it does help bolster one's self-esteem when you feel more socially accepted and attractive (especially since I've battled major shyness, self-esteem and self-confidence issues my whole life).
I think you're an extremely beautiful woman - with or without a speck of make-up on - and can scarcely fathom that those around you, at any age, would ever have thought otherwise.
♥ Jessica
You are really sweet, thank you for saying that! And I know the same is true of you, although I can hardly picture you without your signature red lips. You're right that it can really help with shyness, which is something that I appreciate about it myself. Sometimes I feel like it can help speak for me when I have a hard time expressing myself well.
DeleteA thought-provoking post! I was thinking about how makeup can make some people feel worse, maybe those women who feel 'trapped' in their makeup, e.g. the young woman about to go on a beach holiday with her boyfriend, who realises that he will see her au naturel for the first time, and freaks out (I read an agony aunt letter about that once) and also those women who mess up their skin by using makeup too much (clogging pores, they get breakouts, vicious cycle then of makeup to cover the breakouts).
ReplyDeleteFor me, I was a late-comer to make-up and my mother has never worn it. When I was 19, on an exchange to an American university, I met this Russian goddess (Diana, where are you now?!) who put mascara and a bit of face powder on me. The effect was mind-boggling, but I'm not sure if that was just in my head?! I felt like I went from ugly duckling to someone actually not bad! Since then, I've never gone without daily makeup. I wear mascara, brow pencil (frames your face!), and powder every day, even if not leaving the house. The only times I don't wear makeup is if I'm on a beach holiday (sunglasses hide a multitude of sins) or if I'm not feeling well and at home. I relate to Jessica's point above about feeling more like a boy without it (I look like my brother without it, seriously!).
I really like playing with makeup, though I'm not very good at it. Your eyeliner is particularly well done. I might go and have a practice now!!
You always come across as such a confident woman, it's lovely to see. The Ancient Egyptians wore loads of makeup, I don't always think of it as a modern thing. Babbling now...
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You have a point. We certainly don't suffer for beauty the way that some women in the past have - lead, arsenic, and belladonna were all common ingredients in beauty products up until well into the 20th century. Sure, there are things that we do that probably aren't healthy for us, but at least fewer women are actively poisoning themselves in the name of looking good.
DeleteAnd sunglasses... my savior.
It seems to me that people get trapped by their mindset, not the makeup. I've seen girls who obsessively wear it, and girls who obsessively don't wear it, and both can become an all-consuming, self-focused conversation in their heads all day. In both these cases, makeup becomes the focus, not their faces and self-images!
ReplyDeleteI don't think the subject is makeup; I think it's about moderation and flexibility. I think it's the grace to feel fine without makeup, and the acceptance of perhaps drawing a bit of attention if you do. Many women are uncomfortable with positive attention as much as they are with negative, and that shouldn't be so! Having the confidence to know it's YOU that makes you you, regardless of lip and brow color, brings a lot of stability to one's self esteem!
I am a recent brow-filling convert (I, too, have invisible brows), and I will say that now I feel like I look bald without filling them in! That doesn't mean that I throw it all to heck some days, though! :)
I think you're right that it shouldn't feel like you have to wear makeup, or like you can't. And the "bald face" thing is so true!
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