I've never thought that much about weddings because I never thought I'd want to get married. Between the two of them, my parents were married seven times (not just to each other, if that's not clear), so I figured my bloodline was covered on the whole marriage thing for at least a couple of generations. I'm not a particularly traditional person either, so I never really saw the point in putting a ridiculous amount of time and effort, not to mention a buttload of cash, into some elaborate ceremony.
Oh, and just so there's no confusion, I'm not engaged. Yet, anyway. The dude and I have had some talks on the subject, and that's the direction we're moving in, but that's still a future thing. But now that I'm more marriage minded than I used to be, I've started doing that thing that people tell me little girls are supposed to do, where you plan out all of the details of the wedding that you're not having yet.
Brian, if you're reading this, no pressure, bro.
Wedding #1: Pyramid at the Louvre
Go big or go home, right?
Other bitches be like, "shouldn't you have a veil?" And I'm like, "Veil? I got a cage."
And who better to officiate? I'd take Ratzinger if Francis was busy, but only if he promised not to try to bring us over to Dark Side.
Reception to follow in front of the Mona Lisa. Bridesmaids: 12, all in matching silver dresses. Dress code: white tie.
Wedding #2: Casual Beach Wedding
This is a beach, right? And we can take our wedding photos on that Starship Enterprise looking bit that's sticking off the side.
Mermaid chic, no?
"I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU MAN AND WIFE. YOU MAY FISH THE BRIDE!!!!"
After the ceremony, the wedding party will adjourn to the Queen Mary 2 for a seafood dinner. Bridesmaids: 2, because they were the only ones that I could get to wear the seashell bras. Dress code: cabana appropriate.
Wedding #3: Antarctica
Assuming all of the ice hasn't melted by the time we get there.
Furry hoods and feathered capes. Even the polar bears will want to marry me.
Who wouldn't want an emperor to do the honors? And he's already dressed up.
The reception will be held inside a tauntaun. Bridesmaids: 1, and really she was just a polar bear who happened to be nearby. Dress code: business casual.
Wedding #4: The One that I Would Actually Want
The apple orchard at my boyfriend's parents' house.
Wearing vintage, of course. And tea length will show off the stupidly expensive shoes that I'm going to wear.
With my awesome friend Aidan, who is a Unitarian Universalist minister, reading the vows.
And with all the money we saved on venues and couture dresses, we could have an awesome party with good beer, good booze, good food, and a great band.
So, what's your dream wedding, and did you get it? Or are you like I used to be, and never want to get married?
Your real dream wedding sounds lovely, but I think that with the first three this is the best dream wedding list I've ever seen. Bridal face cage = win. Hooded cape = win for bridal or anything!
ReplyDeleteI was a bit indifferent to wedding stuff until the right guy came along. My weddding was the relaxed, comfortable and happy "real" dream that I wanted. Unlike a number of people I know, I actually enjoyed my own wedding and had lots of fun. (If I was heaps richer though, I would have gotten married at the zoo. That would have been awesome.)
I didn't even think of the zoo, that would be amazing!
DeleteI didn't get my dream wedding, but we eloped at a historical landmark upstate. Wedding planning was just too stressful and expensive so I'm happy we did a small spur the moment wedding. Oh, and between my parents they've been married six times. I know it's easy to feel discouraged because my parents were not a good example but I think it's a blessing in disguise. I know what not to do haha!
ReplyDeleteGlad someone else is the the same boat as me, parentwise.
DeleteI love that you eloped. Honestly, I would much rather do that, but my boyfriend is really close with his family and fairly traditional, so that's just not going to happen. We'll see what we end up with.